Grieving Grandson

cliff — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 04:42:34 +0000

I talked to a neighbor yesterday, who had lost his 95+ year old grandmother very recently. He was still quite stressed, so I didn’t try to give him a light push toward pre-financing a funeral, like I might have done otherwise. He’s the type that needs a push toward most decisions.

Anyway, he asked me how much it would cost him to pay for his own funeral (the main stuff) today.

I summarized his wishes thus:

Basic services of the funeral home = $500.00
Embalming = $300.00
Bathing, dressing, casketing & cosmetology = $130.00
2 hour visitation/wake, evening prior to service = $150.00
2 hour service at Church = $150.00
Transportation — pickup = $100.00
Hearse for visitation = $260.00
Hearse for funeral = $260.00
Sub-total = $1,850.00

Casket (20 gauge gasketed) = $1,250.00
Lined (sealed) grave vault = $995.00
Sub-total = $2,245.00

Grand total = $4,095.00

Single premium (39 years old, somewhat poor health) = $2,431.69.
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He couldn’t believe it. He could see there is a strong reason for “getting off the fence” and pre-financing his funeral.

Something to think about it, the sooner the better.

Better Funerals - Less Money

cliff — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 04:41:45 +0000

Funerals Where?
Personally I have a true preference for funerals held at Church. Hence we named our company Church Funeral Associates. But, there are many places to gather, even for funerals.

That may be the real question. What kind of a gathering is this? And, who will come?

When the deceased is 95 years old, it seems appropriate for the family to have the small gathering at the old family homestead. Or, perhaps a member of the family can dedicate the clubhouse used by members of their condominium family some evening or morning for use. The funeral may be quite different than “outsiders” expect, but there are few of them on the invited list. Perhaps old work-mates or boyfriends or girlfriends of family members are the only non-family attendees.

When the acreage allows it, a funeral on the family farm or ranch is entirely appropriate. Sometimes the whole town can be invited, and a barbeque can follow the proceedings. Similarly, if the acreage allows, it is quite easy to get permission for burying on the family property. What a pleasure that is. There are no cemetery rules to follow regarding depth, use of a burial vault, proximity to trees or fences, use and appearance of monuments or markers, etc.

There are fewer rules for congregating for funerals than you think. Where would you like to have your funeral or memorial service?

Then, when including “memorial services” in this discussion, the rules are totally non-existent. (A memorial service is defined as a funeral without the body present.) The gathering is no longer a “funeral” as far as the facility managers are concerned. Whether it is a park, fishing hole, a golf course or clubhouse, it is just a gathering of friends (and the funeral home does not need to be there).

I think we should open our minds and consider the full range of options open to us. If you have questions on this, please contact me through the blog.